The Inauguration of the List Par Excellence

A spectre is haunting America—the spectre of the List. All the powers of new America have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcise this spectre: President and Actor, Michael Bay and Christian Slater, Hipsters and Young Republicans.

Where are the antagonists to the empty culture of the West that have not been decried as beholden to the List by their adversaries in power? Where is the opposition that has not been cast out by the lingering taint of association with the List, against the entrenched power of the degenerate cabal of Chris O’Donnell, as well as against its reactionary foes in MSNBC?

Two things result from this fact:

1. The List is already acknowledged by all American powers to be itself a power.


2. It is high time as acolytes of the List that we should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish our views, make known the Bad People who peddle in empty cultural commodities, establish our aims and tendencies, and meet this subordinated tale of the Spectre of the List with its realization in the material world as the List Par Excellence.

 It is no coincidence that the growing chorus of discontent with the passage of western culture into the realm of bullshit and spectacle is met with the compilation of the List Par Excellence. As the product of the steady formation of the new cultural consciousness, the List makes known the grievances held in regards to “Jack and Jill” and the other smut propagated by the sinister figure of Adam Sandler. The new cultural consciousness grows weary with the tired formulas of Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity and demands their exile to a place where their sorry programming will cease to hollow out American discourse. This new consciousness rejects the Jonas Brothers and Bud Light Platinum, opposes Chris Gaines and people who use cassette tapes as fashion accessories, and openly contests the logic of Robert McNamara and Dane Cook.

Followers of the List disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can only be attained by the enumeration of people, both good and bad, into the List Par Excellence. Let Larry ‘the Cableguy’ and The Big Bang Theory tremble at the revolution of the List. The followers of the List have nothing to lose but their prime-time television programming. They have a world to win.